Examen Prayer with Kids: The sum is greater than the individual parts.

"Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am among them." Matthew 18:20

Today, I changed the banner on the opening page to the quote you see above.

What was originally there?

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Hindsight is always perfect as compared to foresight, but, now, I can see a verse about being still that is headlined under a website address for prayer with kids can feel…conflicting. When was the last time telling my kids "BE STILL!" actually had any effect on them that was lasting? When was the last time even a whiff of a command to do something or be something in prayer assisted them to become better pray-ers themselves?

Probably, never.

Which actually means, never.

Does it seem more likely to witness a bear praying regularly than a child coming to prayer consistently and predictably?

So, what is to be done with prayer and wiggly kids? Nothing? Yes, nothing is to be done, except one tiny painful choice. It is painful, but potent. Keep going with the habit of prayer with your kids, because this changes you. That’s it.

To get to the bottom of what you are experiencing with prayer, try the following, but not to change your kids. Finding patterns will change the way you, the parent, guardian, caretaker experience God in Prayer with Kids. Remember, where two or three are gathered together in His Name…He’s not trying to show you how He’s changing the others in prayer with you. He’s showing how He’s changing you and I, the guardians, when we pray regularly with our kids.

What are the pitfalls in your experience with the Examen prayer and your kids? First, ask God what He wants from you as the leader to the kids in your charge. Don’t forget this important step. Prayer is an invitation, but not from you to the kids, from God, through you to the kids. Write down your observations, look for patterns, and become creative.

As you reflect on the patterns you experience, consider the following: do need to spend more time in the first house...the Presence of God? Do you need to go into the second or even third house (looking back or looking ahead) for only a very short time before your child or children’s hearts become distracted? Do you need to go back to the first house for a time with them? Maybe, you need to spend only a few minutes or less than a minute looking back before returning to the Presence of God... these are just ideas so ask to be counseled which direction to travel the neighborhood of the Examen as you lead… in doing so, you are co-creating with God the Present Moment of prayer with kids.

Or maybe this is all too much, and you just need to keep going on the habit of praying the Examen every day with your kids with patient persistence and not overthink any one period of time praying. Maybe, you just need to ask Jesus to be with you as you navigate your internal reactions to keep them to a minimum in order to stay in the present moment, yourself. Sometimes, attempting to get an experience of prayer for your kids defeats the purpose before you even begin praying.

Any prayer is beautiful…but, what does God want?

Consider the possibility that your ideas of what ought to happen in prayer with kids is similar to a small creek bed with slow flowing water, it’s still beautiful and sweet. Perhaps, though, there’s something else to consider. Think of God’s idea of what he desires for prayer with your kids and flip that image to Niagara Falls.

Deep calls to deep!

The sum of the prayer is greater than its parts.

Remember, prayer is always an invitation by God to participate with Him. If you are praying in any form alone or with others, you are taking His invitation. However, if you are doing this prayer with your kids, you have an extra promise He is in your midst! This mysterious truth is the foundation of mysterious realities that connect the family of God.

We do not judge the prayer. We show up, no matter what. We can observe the prayer and ask Him to show us His deep. There will be days the prayers feel easier and some harder, but we move toward Him regardless. We take the deeper truer meaning of consolation and desolation in doing so. We are in consolation with our kids as we move to Him no matter how feebly the motion of moving toward Him feels.

Is it true that we are becoming the most holy in the situations where we feel our lack and unholiness? God is moving in our midst, especially, when we pray with our kids.